Cat Lady Part 2

Minutes after arriving on scene, Jeff correctly assessed that the situation was nearing def con 5. He suggested that we drive to the Humane Society and pick up a cat. The desire to avoid my meltdown gave Jeff vigor to secure a cat. We made the journey, put on our happy faces and started over.

The Humane Society was much more, well, humane, than the county shelter. The barking and pee were minimal. It wasn't scary. That said, you have to to be a special kind of person to work at, and apparently, frequent shelters. It is just a different world. Did you know that in order to touch a cat you have to turn in your driver's license? Apparently, people just bust in there and steal animals? Who knows. Insanity.

After turning in my license and promising to purell my hands between touching each cat (for the cat's sake, not mine,) we began the process. We read all the cautions. We selected a cat that had short hair and was good with kids and dogs. He was allowed to have his paws touch the ground. He wasn't the Garfield looking cat Spike wanted, but he seemed cool. Here is the kicker...you can meet the cats, but only one at a time. The area set aside for you to meet the cat is a 4X4 cement cell with peeling paint and no fresh air. I'm not kidding. Picture it, the whole Drury family and a big a** cat in the 4X4 cell. After about 15 minutes, we'd had enough of the cell and figured the cat was a go.

I got in line to sign up for the cat..FINALLY we were getting a cat! The lady asked how long we'd spent with the cat. I lied and said 25 minutes. She gave me a worried look and said we needed to spend another 10 minutes. Back to the cell we went. This time Jeff was out. He'd had all the cat hair he could take, so he began to fill out the adoption papers. We put in the extra 10 minutes. I couldn't wait to pay my $15 and be out of there with a cat. Guess what? DENIED AGAIN!! This time, not because of me, but because apparently the cat has a history of biting. I had to wait to talk to the shelter director who informed me that she wouldn't feel good sending him home with kids. Are you kidding me? Why did his paper say, "good with kids"?!!! Better yet, when you sent me back with the cat for additional time, were you just waiting for us to get bit? 30 minutes shot! I explained to the kids that our new cat would eat them and so we had to start over.

Now I was desperate. I told the lady I just wanted a cat that could go outside, hang with the kids, and deal with a crazy old beagle. What cat could I have?? She selected a tabby named "Misty." Misty didn't strike me. I heard some story about how Misty used to be "Loraine's cat" and they are so sad she has to give her away. I don't care about Loraine or her personal problems. I want a cat. I don't really want Misty, but I realized she was my last chance. Back to the cell the kids and I Misty went.....for another 30 minutes. During those 30 minutes, the cat laid on the floor. Spike jumped off the concrete bench (that took up 2 feet of the 4 foot room). Carter whined and told me stories about Sponge Bob. I tried not to lose my mind. Jeff would peek in with worried eyes. When our time was up, I dragged the cat to the front to get out of the place.

It looked like a go! Jeff and Carter left. Spike and I stayed to finish the paper work. I handed in the paperwork (4 pages no less!) and we were told to wait. Forty-five minutes later, Spike had pointed out all poo in all cages, barked at a dog, worn a caution cone on his head and wallowed in filth. We watched our fist choice cat bite a woman. There were numerous announcements about the Humane Society closing. Another family came and went with a new dog. We were still waiting. If you are counting, we were now over 3 hours into the process, Things were awesome. I kind of lost my mind. That's all I'm saying about that.

Finally, they realized they had "misplaced" my paperwork. Um, okay, there are 3 people there, how do you lose it? We went through all the paperwork. Jeff and Carter came back to see if we were still alive. I paid them my $15 and I thought we were out the door. Jeff took out the kids and I just had to get the cat in the box. The shelter people said tearful goodbye's to Lorraine's cat. Just as I was out the door, the worker decided the cat needed all of her claws trimmed. AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! I waited another 10 minutes to have the cat's nails trimmed. How will she kill voles with trimmed nails? The shelter lady then informed me that that cat required special "hairball formula" food. So help me.....

Four hours after we began the quest, we finally loaded the cat in the car and drove away. I prayed the whole time the cat wouldn't die in the back of the car on the way home. She made it. No worries though, if she dies within 10 days, through no fault of mine, I can get a new cat for free. I just have to take her dead body back to the shelter for proof. Promise...I had to sign a paper.

P.S-Carter renamed the cat Friska. She is anything but frisky. She has lived here for a week and her paws touched grass for the first time today. Meet Friska. Sorry for the quality. Friska hates me, so I can't get a good picture.